Flower meditations...

Red yucca "arrangement"

May 2008

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I just love spring and summer and the colorful, abundant blooms that come with these seasons! Even just driving down the street and seeing a spectacular shrub, tree or saguaro in bloom is a real boost to my spirit.

Fresh flowers in my home are also one of my favorite things...and all the more rewarding if the blooms actually come from my own garden. Last week, I was trimming back some red yucca shoots that had gone crazy in my front landscaping and were blocking the walkway to my front door. They were so pretty I decided not to chuck them, but to bring them in, trim them, and place them in an antique vase in my living room. They provided a welcome punch of color in that spot...and in a stroke of serendipity, worked perfectly with a framed print on the adjacent wall.

I get a spiritual lift from flowers but I also feel like it is a gift to my family to bring fresh flowers into our home. I tend to favor simple, natural arrangements that reflect my personality and lifestyle. But more importantly, I want my children to remember growing up in a warm and loving home with lots of fresh flowers (inside and out), music, color, textures and inviting scents. Pedigreed, nope; soulful, yes!

My approach is a little Zen, and decidely uncomplicated. I take a few moments to meditate on the beauty and form of the flowers as I cut them in my garden, or peruse and select stems at the florist. As I arrange them, I try to set aside any "formulas" and let the particular blooms/stems speak to me...In the end, my goal is not perfection, but to experience the gift of each individual flower. To slow down...to be mindful.

My yucca stems lasted about a week. However, I kept them in the vase a day or two longer than is probably the norm. As one Buddhist master writes about flowers, it is also a gift to observe the petals falling...and to meditate on the transient beauty and impermanence of everything that lives. Just about anyone can see the beauty of a rose blossom in its prime. But there is also beauty in imperfection...and in all stages of life, from the nascent bud to the fading bloom.

And as a woman heading into mid-life myself, I'm digging that concept! ☺

Raising kids for success...

This is the first week of summer vacation here. I let my kids spend a week just vegetating...sleeping until 10:00, playing video games, watching movies, and sleeping over with friends. But now it's time to be a bit more structured.
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Today while we were out running errands, I asked the kids to start thinking about some goals they could set for the summer. Much to my surprise, they selected better goals than I could have envisioned. Their goals covered reading, exercise, chores, travel, philanthropy, music lessons, etc. Then ---(I guess it's the military planner in me!)-- I had to push them a little further to think about HOW they could achieve those goals and WHY they want to achieve them (articulating their intent). Tomorrow we will write these down and try to think of ways we can measure their progress.
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Tonight, as if on cue, I turned on one of my favorite TV shows, "The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch" on CNBC, and the topic was "Raise Your Kids for Success". The panel discussed how to motivate children for success, how to encourage their talents and passions and how to teach them about balance in life. They also discussed the impact of the language we use around children. For example, if your child expresses a want and you tell the child "We can't afford that", it connotes a limitation. But if, instead, you encourage a child to think, "How can I earn the money to make that happen?", it sets an entirely different tone. In retrospect, I realize that is exactly what my own parents did, intuitively, when raising me. And in fact, I've always had some sort of paid job since my paper route at age 9.

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I struggle with how to instill these values and work ethic in my own kids. The world is a different place and I don't think it's as easy for kids to earn their own money at a young age anymore. Maybe I'm just too nervous to set them loose and I want them to enjoy childhood and to learn the valuable lesson of a healthy balance in life. But I still want them to learn the value of a dollar and the rewards of hard work. I do want them to understand that they need to be able to stand on their own two feet one day and to truly value the rewards that come from being independent and pursuing their dreams in life. I certainly don't want to raise two kids with entitlement attitudes...or just as bad, with raging cases of "affluenza".

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After our discussion about goals, as we drove on the freeway, Annie asked me what MY goals were for the summer. Kids do keep you honest! Yes, I have my own summer goals, too. ...and I'll be adding them to our list tomorrow.☺ I'm interested to hear how you help raise your kids for success.

Memorial Day

A few weeks ago I blogged about a wounded warrior I met in San Antonio and his upbeat attitude. I also mentioned hearing a story while I was there about a young Marine who had just died up in the burn unit at Brooke Army Medical Center...a Marine whose spirit touched everyone he encountered.
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I was reading the news tonight and saw that MSNBC is running a story about this Marine as part of their Memorial Day weekend coverage. I thought you might be interested in hearing "the rest of the story".
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I don't know what you'll think after you read this story, but I know I'm going to say a prayer that he's dancing in heaven in his dress blues, inspiring the angels.
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'Miracle' Marine loses final battle

The Five Defects of a Vessel

Covered Pot

Outrigger Hotel, Guam

2005

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One of my favorite contemporary spiritual authors is Lama Surya Das. In his book Awakening the Buddhist Heart, he discusses a Tibetan teaching called "The Five Defects of a Vessel" . This teaching illustrates conditions to avoid if we are to be suitable vessels for truth and wisdom.

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I have collected pottery for many years, so I found the symbol of the vessel particulary meaningful. I know that as an imperfect person, my vessel definitely has its defects, but this teaching provides a goal toward which I strive. I thought I'd share it here:

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The Five Defects of a Vessel:

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1. A pot which is turned over.
When we are facing in the wrong direction, we are essentially unavailable to even the most nourishing substances. This is a reminder that we get to choose the direction we face. We need to make wholesome choices and be available to hear wisdom teachings.

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2. A pot which is covered.
Have you ever tried to talk to someone wearing earphones? In the same way, how can anything be poured into a vessel that is shut down? This reminds us to be receptive and open.

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3. A pot that already contains something poisonous.
If we were to pour the purest water into a vessel that contained a toxic substance, although the toxin would be diluted, the water would still be corrupted. This reminds us to purify ourselves so that we are ready to receive.

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4. A pot which is already filled to the brim.
This symbol tells us not be so full of ourselves and our opinions and ideas that there is no room for anything else.

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5. A pot that leaks.
We all know the expression, "In one ear and out the other." It is not enough to hear and be filled with wisdom; we need to learn how to retain it.

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(PS: Did you notice the little gecko at the base of the pot in the photo?)

Tonight's the night...

we'll make history, as sure as dogs can fly...


Our son, Aaron, who turned 11 this week, made his stage debut tonight in the (5th-8th grade) Drama Club's original musical called "Come Sail Away". The musical features the music of Styx and Phil Collins and ran 90 minutes. Aaron played the lead role of Dennis Collins, a rock star who feels like he's sold out for money and wants to find more meaning in his life, so he goes to a tropical paradise called Brazasia, where he discovers what really matters.

The cast has been in rehearsals since February. We spent this last week running like chickens with our heads off to rehearsal after rehearsal. Mike and I (and many other parents) were helping the kids build sets and costumes right up until the 11th hour. But it was all worth it. The kids did a fantastic job! And it really was a lot of fun working with the kids and getting to know some of the other parents.

Of course Mike caught it all on video and we'll be burning DVDs for fellow cast members and for extended family. We are so proud of all the hard, hard work all of the kids put into this. And SO glad our schedule has a chance of returning to normal! ☺

Pink Martini...straight up

Pink Martini of Portland, Oregon, have gained a cult following thanks to their party-friendly mix of Fellini-esque fanfare, Technicolor samba and other cosmopolitan frills.

-- Rolling Stone

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Pink Martini is intoxicating. One sip and you're guzzling the rest. Since its founding in 1994, this self-described "little orchestra" from Portland, Ore., has managed to create a style as bubbly as champagne, as smooth as brandy, as sophisticated as vintage wine....and as friendly as a Shirley Temple.

-- The Arizona Republic

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Last night I surprised Mike with tickets to see one of our favorite bands, Pink Martini, at their first public concert in Arizona. We've been fans for several years and own all their albums. We've often said we'd love to see them live and have even considered driving to San Diego to see them. Imagine my thrill when I learned they were not only coming to Scottsdale, but were actually performing on our anniversary.☺
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The concert was at a small, 2200-seat outdoor amphitheater under the stars. The weater was iffy in the morning, but cleared and made for a lovely night. The stage was set simply, just the 14-member band, consisting of China Forbes (vocals) and Thomas Lauderdale(band leader and grand piano), as well as trumpet, trombone, cello, violin, harp, guitar, bass, bongos and other miscellany. The band wore black suits and cocktail dresses. The musicianship was superb.

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The audience was a mix of all ages. As we pulled into the parking lot, we saw one senior citizen group tailgating ... with wine and cheese trays. Some of the college-age women in the audience were decked out in vintage Parisian cocktail attire. Mike and I sat on our lawn chairs under the stars and swaying palm trees, enjoyed some wine and superb live music, and toasted 19 years of marriage. We had a fantastic time.

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Here is a sampling of the Pink Martini vibe: Una Notte a Napoli

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If they come to a city near you, I recommend checking them out!

(If you like Pink Martini, you might also like Paris Combo...)

Happy Mother's Day!

Three generations

Oklahoma

July 2004

This photo isn't the best quality, but it's one of the few I have with my mom in recent years. For some reason, we're always taking photos of the kids with my mom or they're taking photos of me with the kids, but not us together. We need to remedy that when I visit my mom later this summer.
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I've already called her and sent her a gift, but I wanted to say "Happy Mother's Day" to my dear mother, who has been such a gift in my life. And of course I celebrate today because motherhood has been my own life's greatest experience. Nothing else begins to come close.
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Happy Mother's Day!

And just in case you were wondering who I look like, check out this photo of my mother, taken in 1972. She was 26 and this was taken at the airport as we were seeing my dad off to Vietnam. (That's my head in the foreground.)

The powerful lesson of attitude

The best part of my Air Force Reserve career is the amazing people I am privileged to serve with and encounter in the course of my duties. I am an individual Reservist embedded with my old active duty unit, which has about 15,000 troops located around the world, with headquarters in Texas.

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During the past several years, I've had a few occasions to meet wounded warriors and the experience is not only emotional, but inspirational. The courage these young Americans possess and the personal sacrifice they have made for their country is simply nothing short of awe-inspiring. Two weeks ago I attended an official event down near the Alamo with my boss and his wife. While there, I noticed a young GI sitting in a wheelchair and I asked him if he was going through treatment at Brook Army Medical Center, and he said he was. BAMC is where many of our wounded servicemembers go through treatment, particularly amputees and burn patients. I knew my boss, whose own son is serving in Afghanistan, would want to meet him and shake his hand, so I introduced the general to Specialist G.
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Specialist G isn't a publicity slick kind of soldier. A little rough around the edges, with a South Side Chicago accent, he seemed to me like the type who wouldn't be so great at a cocktail party, but would probably be just the kind of guy you'd want watching your back in Sadr City, if you know what I mean. Turns out Specialist G was on his third tour to Iraq when his Bradley hit an IED in Diyala Province more than a year ago, and is now confined to a wheelchair. To top it off, his parents are both dead and he doesn't have much family...only his girlfriend, who was by his side.
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The general thanked him for his service to our country and told him that he thought he had an amazing attitude. Specialist G, in his direct way, looked up at the general from his wheelchair and said, "Sir, I was just doing my job. I wanted to make the Army a career, but now I'm in the chair and that's over. But I don't dwell on that because I can't change the past. Sir, all I have is my attitude."
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The general's wife told me about a young man she met in the BAMC burn ward after his father stopped her in the hallway and said, "I would like you to meet my son." This young soldier, dubbed Miracle Merlin, sustained burns over more than 95% of his body and underwent many surgeries over a two year period at the hospital. Despite his severe disfigurement and obvious physical pain, he mustered the courage and positive attitude to serve as a strong shoulder for the other burn patients that came into the ward during his time there. He would try to lend them comfort and fellowship as they faced the unthinkable road ahead. He succumbed to his wounds last month, leaving the pain behind, as well as a legacy and depth of character that is hard to fathom.
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Maybe it takes a direct hit--physical or emotional--for most of us to realize it, but these young men seem to understand something that many older, supposedly wiser people fail to grasp. We can't change the past or guarantee the future. All we have is the present...and our attitude. I hope I can muster a fraction of their courage in my own life.

It's great to be back home...

...with my peeps! ☺ I had a productive and enjoyable time out at my unit in San Antonio...Got to my room after midnight two weeks ago and was at work at 7:30 the next morning...worked 12 straight days, and some evenings. All good, but I needed to just vegetate when I got home this weekend. I've got to get caught up with some consulting work and other commitments, but will post again this week. I will also get the giveaway earrings in the mail this week! Thanks for your patience....and I look forward to catching up with my favorite blogs, too!