A Sort of Homecoming....

Maconaquah High School

Bunker Hill, Indiana

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My 20-year high school reunion is this weekend.

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My father was a career Air Force man and my family made frequent moves around the globe. The summer before my senior year, we left the coral sands and azure waters of Guam for the cornfields of Indiana. I wasn't thrilled about it, but by then it was a familiar drill, starting over. New school, new kids.

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I arrived in the summer of 1986 to find my new stomping grounds sited in between farmers' fields and the heavy military aircraft of the nearby base. A big wooden sign on the Highway 31 turnoff welcomed you to the town of Bunker Hill, "Home to Ilona Conway, Miss Indiana 1982". Besides this claim to fame, the town was also home to many nice, down-to-earth kids.

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As a result, I was able to assimilate quickly into the social scene and get busy with school activities and a job lifeguarding after school and on weekends at a local pool. In typical small-town, Midwestern tradition, we went to football games and keggers and school dances, like millions of other American kids before and since.

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My first week at Mac High, I met two lifelong friends in French IV class..Angela and Kelley. Ang was a stylish editor of the yearbook and school newspaper who wore Swatch watches and Converse high tops with her skirts and had posters of INXS and the Art of Noise on her bedroom walls. Ang was bound for IU's School of Journalism. Today she is in a dream job as a regional sales manager for the British company Gilchrist & Soames. She gets paid to combine her love of writing, people, travel and all things spa!

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Kel was the intellectual European-style beauty in black turtleneck with Peter Gabriel on her stereo. We were active in the school's award-winning speech and debate team. On one occasion, we participated in a public forum featuring U.S. Senator Richard Lugar, then-chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. In her free time, Kel had prepared a position paper on Women in Islam and presented her views at the forum. Senator Lugar didn't stand a freaking chance! We knew Kel would be a professor one day, and she is, with advanced degrees from Harvard and Notre Dame. She's also happily married with a young son.

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I'm darn proud of my friends! They dreamed it and they achieved it.
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Kel, Ang, me, my baby daughter

& the late/great Ma Arnold

Kel's wedding breakfast, Bloomington, Indiana, 1998

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We're as giddy as 17-year-old girls again, exchanging e-mails about our upcoming escapade. Kel and I are arriving at the Indianapolis airport at the same time Friday and Ang is picking us up and playing both hotelier and chauffeur this weekend. We'll be crashing Chez Arnold on Saturday night, as we did so many times before. Her mother, who we dearly loved, passed away early this year. I hope our presence puts a smile on Pa Arnold's face.

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Ang, me & my son, New Mexico, 2005

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As I prepare for this sort of homecoming, I've been moved to remind my children about the importance of choosing good friends. Kel and Ang made my senior year at a new school a great experience. Unwilling to settle for mediocrity, they also inspired me to be a better person and reinforced my commitment to pursue my dreams. What a gift it's been to share the past 20-odd years with two such amazing women and dear friends. I hope my children will be so lucky!

Restorative weekends...

We were wild yesterday. After having the family apart for two weeks, we blew off all chores and responsibilities for some R&R.
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Mike had a morning conference call, but afterward, we fired up the spa and had a leisurely soak...my favorite way to spend a Sunday morning! Then I made a yummy Sunday dinner of seared ginger sea scallops, sticky rice and homemade chicken spring rolls. After eating Lean Cuisine and restaurant food for two weeks, it was a true pleasure to be cooking in my own kitchen again.
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After lunch, we drove down to Tempe for dessert. A colleague of Mike's has embarked on a family venture...a shop called Mercato del Gelato in the new Tempe Marketplace. Yesterday was their private reception for friends and family in advance of the grand opening this week. The kids were in seventh heaven sampling all the flavors! They inhaled the gelati while Mike and I preferred the sorbets.

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We came home and Mike and I rounded out the evening with a cheese and cracker supper in front of Ken Burns' new documentary "The War" on PBS. This is must-see TV.

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I hope you all had a restorative weekend! Today it's back to business!

Peace and Honor

Paper Cranes

photographer unknown

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Yesterday was a special day in two regards. It was both National POW/MIA Day and also International Peace Day. Two very important reasons to take pause.
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I began my day in San Antonio, still on military duty, at our agency's annual POW/MIA recognition ceremony. My office is responsible for planning the ceremony each year. We hosted nine former POWs in a moving joint service ceremony and reception that honored those who were prisoners of war, and those still missing in action.
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At the reception, I sat with a survivor of the Bataan Death March. Now in his 90s, he's a frail but spunky man who told me he weighed only 89 pounds when he was liberated. His bright eyes defy the physical scars he still bears from the experience. I also sat with a man who spent several months in a German stalag after his B-17 bomber was shot down in 1945. He was one of the lucky ones: four of his eight crewmates went down with the plane. He is somber about his experience but his sense of humor about life was contagious and he had us all smiling. His wife was just as lively. The courage and dedication of their family members is also remarkable.

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I was struck not only by the great physical and mental courage the former POWs displayed in captivity, but perhaps even more so by how they've forged their lives afterward. I was amazed by the sense of peace and calm that surrounds most of these men. They've faced demons most of us cannot comprehend but rather than breaking them for life, the experience seems to have made these men savor life all the more.

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The lessons for the rest of us are clear. The day-to-day noise that fills our heads is so superficial compared to the challenges these men faced. Their fortitude and their faith is an inspiration and places life's daily "crap" in entirely new perspective. I am sure that life since captivity has not been an easy road for any of these men, yet they are a living, triumphant example of personal resiliency and the dignity of the human spirit.

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Thus, on a day when we honored these heroes it is fitting that it was also the International Day of Peace. I flew home to Arizona last night, hugged my children, and admired a lovely paper pinwheel that my daughter made in school to commemorate the day....a symbol of hope for all the world's children.

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And so it was that I started my day with a reminder of the price of peace, and closed it with the hope and prayer for peace.

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Have a wonderful weekend with those you love! Life--and freedom--are precious!

Tao and the Traveler

Living plants are flexible. In death, they become dry and brittle. Therefore, stubborn people are disciples of death, but flexible people are disciples of life.

-Lao Tzu

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Last Sunday I was reminded of this quote from Lao Tzu when I was nearly bumped from my US Airways flight. My first instinct was to pop a gasket...darnit, I was on a schedule! But instead, I took a deep breath, found my Zen space, and calmly explained why they couldn't--or shouldn't--bump a person traveling on military orders. They agreed and I kept my seat.

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As it turns out, the "near bump" was a gift! I boarded the flight and took my aisle seat. The man across the aisle had been in line next to me and said, "You know, you were right to bring that up...I'm traveling on military orders, too." Long story short, it turns out I was sitting across the aisle from the command chief master sergeant of the Arizona Air National Guard.

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The two-hour flight whizzed by because of the interesting conversation that followed. We discovered we had a lot in common professionally and that we also live only a few miles apart. When we arrived in Texas, I gave him a lift to the base in my rental car and we exchanged business cards. He may be joining my family for dinner at our home in the future. Had my seat not been challenged, perhaps we would never have found cause to talk to each other at all.

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How many times do we lose our flexibility and as a result, fail to recognize the gifts and opportunities that new situations may yield? Sometimes it's because we're busy, stressed or our ego is challenged. Other times we close off new ideas from others because of our inflexible thought patterns.

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Lao Tzu had it right...flexibility means being open to all the possibilities and gifts that come with being alive. Sometimes I stumble, but daily meditation helps me stay focused on the real priorities, staying true to my intention and keeping perspective. How do you stay flexible in your daily life?

On the road again...

I will be traveling for a couple weeks on Reserve duty. I will miss my family as always, but it's not long and I am looking forward to lacing up my boots and seeing my comrades again.

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Our much-beloved lieutenant is deploying soon and we are hatching plans to send her off in style. There are rumors of water skis and a karaoke bar in her future!

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While gone, my ability to update the blog may be limited. Normally I treat this time as a self-enforced hiaitus from the box. I focus fully on my work and in any free time I have, indulge in personal pursuits...exercise, reading, creating my jewelry, catching up with friends, etc. However, I may sneak on the laptop in the evening here and there.

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In the meantime, stay safe and happy!

Chillaxin'

Sorry I haven't blogged in a week. I've been chillaxin'.

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Besides loving the way it rolls off the tip of the tongue, to me, the term chillaxin' transcends both its component words and takes the user to a new level of relaxation with a cool, chill-out vibe.

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Last week was pretty busy for our family. I put in a fairly busy work week with my consulting project. My husband put in a 65-hour work week, plus a lot of work on his MBA. So by the time the long holiday weekend rolled around, we were ready for some chillaxin'!

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Here are my favorite ways to chillax:

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1. Music: Jazz, Euro Chill, Bossa Nova. Love it all. But nothing is sexier than a good Bossa Nova tune. I love it when genres collide, such as vintage Stan Getz and Astrud Gilberto on "Girl from Ipanema".

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2. Cocktail of choice. Mine is a dry red wine. A current fave is a good Argentinian Malbec. But I am always a sucker for an Old Vine Zin. When chillaxin' during the day, I fancy a cuppa iced PG Tips, w/ 1/3 lemon in each glass.

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3. My pool. This is Chillaxin' Central. My husband and I designed an oasis where we could escape the daily grind and it has become our sanctuary. We'd rather be sitting in our spa or floating in the pool on our chaise lounges than just about anywhere else, listening to our tunes. It was an investment in our sanity, our family and our marriage.

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4. Yoga. I'm a relative newcomer. I still love running and swimming most, but for a chillaxin' workout, gimme Yoga. I have also discovered the power of chakra meditation, but I'll save that for another day.

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5. My man. No good chillaxin' would be complete without my man. 'Nuff said!

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6. Sting. When my man is not available, I'd settle for Sting. Well, the IDEAL chillaxin' would involve both my man AND Sting... (hey, I'm a red-blooded American girl, what can I say?) But unfortunately that damn Trudie Styler keeps popping up!

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I could keep going, but 6 is my lucky number, so I'll stop. Plus, we're back to the weekly grind again.

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So now...I wanna hear how YOU like to relax!