Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Keeping in touch w/ intention


I'm drinking my coffee with a smile on my face this morning, thinking about last night.
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No, I wasn't up late with the hubby. :-) I was working.
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When I was a young, idealistic college student studying political science, my goal was to join the Foreign Service and make a difference in the world. I envisioned myself posted in Paris, London, Bangkok. ....But as is often the case, life "happened" and I modified my course. I gladly made compromises to accomodate my family. Yet while I was willing to be flexible on the specifics, I tried to remain true to my big picture intention. In the process, I accidentally stumbled into work I never would have considered, but discovered I enjoyed. Like the work I'm doing now.
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Sometimes along the way of making a living, we begin to doubt our chosen path, or we choose to put ourselves into jobs or relationships that simply aren't "us". I see it in my friends and neighbors... Smart, good people who, for a variety of reasons, aren't working their true intentions. For some, bad luck has left them no choice but to do what it takes to provide for their families. God bless them for getting up each day and slogging through the grind. For others, it was the belief that more money or status in another field would bring them happiness...only to discover they are financially rich yet personally unfulfilled. They've ignored their true compass.
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After 20 years of seeking, and questioning my course as much as the next guy...I am stumbling toward age 40 with the reaffirmation that the work and subjects that jazzed me as a college kid still ring my bell today. It's who I am. I cannot deny it.
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Which brings me to last night. I was out late facilitating an environmental public meeting on the other side of town. The project centers around the cleanup of some environmental contamination that occured back in the 1950s/60s... the result of common industrial practices at the time, back before the nation instituted environmental laws governing the handling of hazardous substances.
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We're lucky that at this site, the contamination is limited and largely contained, with no known pathways to humans or animals. Nonetheless, the client is putting millions of dollars and literally decades of time into cleaning it up. It's not only the law, but the right thing to do. We work closely with state and federal environmental regulators, who provide oversight of the project. My role as a consultant is to facilitate an open and responsive flow of information between my client and the public, local governments and other stakeholders.
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Environmental remediation does not yield instant gratification. But we are beginning a new, exciting phase of the project, including the use of some promising new technology that is absolutely fascinating.
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Perhaps I was in a sentimental mood last night, or it was just getting late, but as the geologist talked about soil gas borings, I looked around the room and was struck with the realization that I am happy and loving what I do. Not in an exotic foreign posting, but right in my own backyard.
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All the players were in the room: My client, who works hard to ensure the project is handled responsibly; environmental regulators, geologists and engineers who have dedicated their professional lives to protecting our national resources for future generations; dedicated local citizens who volunteer their time without pay to serve their community; local government and economic development reps who receive little thanks for their critical leadership.
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Yes, I realized, this is grassroots democracy in action! A case study jumping directly out of the pages of a poli sci textbook. Not that it's Shangri-La. There are frustrations. Stumbling blocks. Bureaucratic red-tape bullshit. Personalities. You know the drill. But we work through it. More than some politician spewing "green" talk on CNN, these are the people that are making it happen in this great country of ours. It feels darn good to be a part of it.
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Last night on the drive home, I asked myself, "How'd I get so lucky to get to do this for a living?" Back in college, this work would certainly have not been part of my plan. But I realized, it is a manifestation of that very same life intention. Life is good!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Singapore inspirations

Singapore Ceiling
Singapore Temple
photos by Mike
July 2007
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Busy weekend here for our family. I'll simply leave you with these photos my husband took during a recent business trip to Singapore and Malaysia. Mike was smitten with the diverse and exotic mix of cultures in Singapore. To wit: the dichotomy of the modern geometric ceiling and the intricate detail of the temple in the photos above. Two diverse expressions coexisting in harmony. Touchstones of past, present and future. Of concrete and spirit. An example for all of us!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Making peace with my outer beast

My hairstylist, Karen, recently retired. She is only 40, but after 20 years in the biz, including some work-related health problems, she decided to sell her salon for a tidy profit and switch professional gears. I am excited for her new adventure, but of course her plans mean I had to find a new stylist, which all gals know is a most daunting task, perhaps second only to finding a gynecologist!
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Of course I began by asking for recommendations from friends with great hair...and I settled on booking an appointment with my friend Christy's hairdresser, Patty, at a Phoenix salon. I had my first appointment with Patty today.
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Let me back up. I have naturally very wavy hair. Yeah, I know you're looking at my blog photo and going, "Huh?" Such is the transformative power of a good blowout. Left to its own devices, my hair conjures the phrase, "Whitesnake video". Need I paint a picture?
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In high school, I went to perilous lengths to achieve straight, silky hair. I spent much of my high school years in Guam, with weekends spent at the beach, wearing Ocean Pacific swimwear and cheap Ray-Ban knockoffs, flirting with lifeguards. You can imagine how crazy the hair would get, between the saltwater and humidity. Taking drastic measures, I began to chemically straighten my hair. After shelling out my hard-earned babysitting money a few times for a pro, I started doing it myself. There I was at the drugstore, a blonde imposter in the Black hair care aisle, throwing Ultra Sheen in the cart like someone grabbing bootleg Duran Duran cassettes on the Asian black market. .....Oh wait... that was me, too! I blame all my 80's transgressions on Aqua Net exposure.
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Back in the States and fresh out of college, I experimented with spiral perms. I was working my second gig as a radio news director, this time ditching a job at a disfunctionally-managed AM station for a more exciting Top 40 FM gig. Yeah, this Poli Sci major treated the news seriously, but we were in a hip environment and dressed the part. These were my days of mini-skirts and tights, blazers with shoulder pads and waffs of Poison perfume in my booth as I typed out news copy on an IBM Selectric. Big hair was as de rigeur for the female staff as Janet Jackson was on our rotation. The spiral perm was part pragmatic attempt to give the wave a sense of compass, part homage to the trend of the day. I'm not proud of my style legacy in those days, but hey, what can I say? If Paula Abdul can reinvent herself, so can I!
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It was really only when I hit 30 that I embraced the natural wave and learned to enjoy wearing my hair both curly and straight. Now I am actually glad I have wavy hair. And, as good fortune would have it, I married a man who has a thing for curly hair ... the wilder the better. These days, if we're going a date night, the hair goes curly to the max. Or, if I'm pissed at him, it's straight as a flatiron. Okay...yes, I'm joking. Well, halfway. The real truth is that two pregnancies relaxed my hair and made it a bit more manageable. The resulting babies also left me with much less time and interest in fussing w/ hair. In short, I experienced a rebirth myself and made peace with the beast. That's about the same time I stopped caring about fashion trends and decided to stick with what I like...period.
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Today, there are innumerable sites like Naturally Curly.com to help a gal tame her coils, with minimal effort and minimal product. Still, despite these resources, cutting and styling wavy hair is not a skill every hairdresser has mastered. Not all can give a cut that swings both ways. (Curly and straight!)
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So imagine how thrilled I was today when Patty (she of seemingly straight hair), confessed she is actually a curly-top, before I even shared the same! We connected on a transcendental level that silky straight-haired girls simply cannot comprehend. I nearly squealed "Sweet Jesus!" and kissed her barrel brush. This woman not only knows how to cut my wavy hair, but also how to give a killer blow out.
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Yes, the cosmic truth is this: For a woman with wavy hair, a good blow out is a blissful experience...a redefinition of self, and a glimpse at all things possible. After all, if we can tame this head of hair, surely we can end hunger or find a cure for cancer. At the very least, we can keep the crazy hair where it belongs...on MTV!

Friday, August 17, 2007

The restorative power of good friends and wasted Fridays!

School is back in session again here...always a bittersweet time for me. On one hand, I love having my kids home during the summer and the freedom from the schoolyear grind. On the other hand, as a consultant who works p/t from a home office, juggling work and family becomes more difficult in the summer. When school is back in session, I have more time available to get things done...not only for others, but also for myself.
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For three years now, I've been in a Friday coffee group with women whose children go to school with mine. We gather two Friday mornings each month for coffee, food and gab. Unless I'm traveling out of town or someone in my household is ill, I treat these mornings as sacrosanct. It's marked on my calendar and I schedule appointments, conference calls, work production and gym time around it.
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Our group stands at roughly 10 members. These are cool chicks, from a variety of professional backgrounds and geographic roots--some work full or part-time in or out of the home, some are full-time moms. We have members who originally hail from places as far from Arizona as Nova Scotia, Denmark, the Philippines and Guyana. I have gleaned a lot of wisdom from these women and I've had a lot of fun. We hold each other's hands during tough times, celebrate the good ones, and have even torn up the town on a Las Vegas ladies' weekend. (I'd tell you my Vegas henna tattoo story, but you know what they say about what happens in Vegas...)
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Our group had taken a summer hiaitus, so we had a lot of miles to cover this morning. I hosted at my house because I had gifts to share. I'd made several necklaces while I was laid up with a sprained ankle this summer. I felt as excited as a kid bringing home a handmade craft from school when I handed out the jewelry boxes to the gals, and showed them, one by one, the designs I'd made with their individual personalities in mind. We caught a coffee buzz and laughed about all the crazy things we'd seen and done over the summer...and later cried talking about one friend's upcoming surgery.
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Normally we break up the fun before noon. But today, morning coffee turned into lunch and five of us decided to blow the entire day. We piled in Cathy's van and drove down to a nearby bead shop where we ogled stones and strands, plotted a future bead-and-appetizer party and let our creative juices roam free without kids tugging on our sleeves.
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Some would say this was a Friday wasted. I could have sat at my desk and billed several hours worth of work. I could have finished my laundry, prepped for dinner or caught up on e-mail.
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Au contraire, I say...The laundry, the e-mail and the work will still be here tomorrow and dinner need not be a big production. Truth is, you can't put a price tag on the restorative power of good friends--or, I daresay, a big pile of colorful beads. In fact, playing hooky today was a prudent strategic move. I'm refreshed, recharged, and ready to hit the ground running again. The return on investment is a sure bet.
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Here's wishing YOU a restorative and creative weekend with family and friends! Let me know how it goes!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Now playing on DVD: Comedy, tragedy and the power of the universe

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What we are is God's gift to us.
What we become is our gift to God.
--Deepak Chopra
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I don't usually watch much TV at home but I've been on a DVD kick lately. I've seen everything from Chris Rock standup to the old made-for-TV version of "Love Letters" with Laura Linney. Looking at my strange mix of DVDs as I dropped them in the return slot at Blockbuster got me thinking about a version of "Love Letters" starring Chris Rock as the repressed U.S. Senator reflecting on his lifelong love...Now wouldn't that be a doozy?
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My favorites of the bunch were "Tsunami: The Aftermath" (an HBO Films/BBC miniseries) and "How to Know God", based on the writings by Deepak Chopra.
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Iplayed a peripheral role in Asian tsunami relief back in January/February 2005, so I was interested to see the dramatic film, especially since it starred such powerhouse actors as Tim Roth and Toni Collette. They were great as they always are, but the real scene-stealers were British actors Chiwetel Ejiofor and Sophie Okonedo. Inspired by real events and heavily researched, the film follows six people in Thailand whose lives intersect and are changed forever by one of the largest natural tragedies of modern times. Yeah, the cliffhanger at the end of the first disc got a little "Days of Our Lives" for my taste, and there are some tired stereotypes in the film, but overall, it is a fine piece. The opening sequence alone was enough to justify the numerous awards the film has garnered.
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The Chopra disc was interesting...I'm going to look for the book when it is re-released in expanded form in October. I appreciated the way Chopra melded science and spirituality as I have always believed the two are synonymous. However, one doesn't need to agree on every one of his points to take away something from this disc. It's a launching point for spiritual exploration. This is a disc for people of all faiths. It articulated a lot of my own instinctual views about God, the universe and human spirituality.
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While I'm on the subject of spirituality...I'd appreciate any good thoughts, prayers, vibes or wishes you can send. We have a family member who was diagnosed with a lung tumor last Friday. He's in a lot of pain and has lost a lot of weight already. His oncologist was very positive and upbeat, however, and his lung function test was very strong. His PET scan results come back today and we'll know more about the road ahead.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

In memoriam...

This is a classic photo of my good friend, Erin.
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Erin died this morning in Austin, Texas. She had been ill for a couple years and her treatment culminated in a bone marrow transplant. Despite this long journey, her death today came as a shock to most of us who knew her.
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When I visited her in the transplant ward of the hospital in San Antonio last March, she was emaciated, bald, but still full of her crazy spunk. It was a rainy Sunday and I brought her Godiva chocolate and decorating magazines, aka "decor porn". We had a lot of fun looking at her wig, a chic strawberry blonde number cut in a very sleek Vidal Sassoon bob. It was a perfect fit, her natural color... and when she showed me that the manufacturer's tag on the box called it the "Erin", we knew it was clearly kismet...some kind of karmic style hookup from the Hairdo Gods.
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Despite her frail appearance in the hospital, she began to improve rapidly thereafter, and she really seemed to have beat the odds...she was back home and gaining strength, buying new clothes and had just mentioned a few days ago that she was looking forward to watching her hair grow back. I was hoping to maybe see her next month.
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Unfortunately, Erin developed complications earlier this week and was readmitted to the hospital late last night. She passed away early this morning. She leaves behind a devoted husband, Nelson, a big teddy bear of a man who was undoubtedly her best friend and biggest supporter. Even when the chips were down, Nelson managed to make Erin laugh. They were in full swing that day up in the hospital, though Nelson didn't fool anyone...We all knew it was either laugh or die crying.
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Erin was one of a kind. She packed a lot of personality and zany living into that 5-foot-nothin' frame. She was smart, funny, adventurous and a kind, loving soul.
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When her elderly mother was admitted into a nursing home with Alzheimer's, Erin visited her daily. On one of my visits to Austin, she asked me to tag along to the nursing home and meet her mother. As we walked down the hall toward her mother's room, I could make out an elderly woman in the room beyond, staring blankly. That is, until Erin called, "Hey, Mama!" from the doorway in a typically Texan way. Then her mother's face lit up and even a first-time visitor could see a spark of the woman that was. Through the fog of Alzheimer's, she still knew her daughter's voice and her touch. It was an extremely moving thing to witness.
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Erin used to be active in theater and even when the stage productions stopped, her dramatic flair never fizzled. It was never a dull moment. I'm sure going to miss raising hell together. We were on our good behavior at the nursing home, but there were plenty of other times when we'd go shopping and Erin would lay on the furniture in the store, pose with the mannequins, or as seen in the photo, above, cut some other spontaneous, funny-as-hell figure.
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God bless you, Erin...rattle those pearly gates!





Saturday, August 11, 2007

Escape into the forest...


Australian Rainforest by Katia Grimmer-Laversanne
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This the final weekend of summer vacation here. Back-to-school time brings a whirlwind of shopping for supplies, organizing the house, reestablishing routines and cramming in as many pool and play dates as possible. All good...but a tad chaotic!
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Tonight I had just returned home from taking the kids to an end-of-summer party at one of those fun but wild "jump" places. Time to slow things down. Poured myself a nice glass of Shiraz and settled down at the computer.
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What did I find when I logged on? A link from my wonderfully wise and prescient friend Linda. This woman always knows exactly where it's at. And this was just what the doctor ordered!
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I'm paying it forward. Enjoy!
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Forest Meditation

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The beauty of bougainvillea

Bougainvillea Buddha
My garden, August 2007

Few things are as gorgeous as a giant burst of bougainvillea. The simple, paper-thin blooms do not last long when cut, but are visually stunning en masse in a garden.
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I'm fortunate to live in a climate where the vines flourish most of the year. When we designed our pool last year, our contractor advised us to get rid of of one of our Chilean mesquite trees and all our bougainvillea near the pool since they are shedders. I must have looked at him like he had three heads. There is NO way I'm living in the desert without my shade trees and my glorious flowering, drought-tolerant plants. And I reminded him that's why we'd purchased a top-notch pool cleaning system. Two blooming seasons w/ the pool and we have no regrets. We love our bougainvillea.
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I particularly like the Barbara Karst variety because they are the most hardy in my zone. Normally, we get a hard frost around Christmas that zaps them but they come back in spring. However, we had one of our coldest winters on record this year and mine have yet to fully bounce back to their previous splendor. I think I will replace a few next spring to boost their color in the yard.
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I enjoy bougainvillea in most applications but my favorite is to see them juxtaposed against natural or rustic finishes. I hope you enjoy these bougainvillea beauties...an instant passport to Arizona, Mexico, the Mediterranean, South Pacific and many other of the world's warmer climes!






Tuesday, August 7, 2007

McNay, pt. 2


A young girl commemorates her Quinceañera on the grounds of the McNay.
Other architectural elements and still lifes...

















Monday, August 6, 2007

McNay Impressions, Part 1

San Antonio, Texas, is my second hometown. We lived there for five years before moving to Arizona and I am fortunate to return for several weeks each year, enjoying the city's Tex-Mex cuisine and warm Hill Country hospitality.

My favorite place in San Antonio isn't the city's famous treelined Riverwalk, the festive Mariachi or the hallowed ground of the Alamo. Rather, it's a quiet, 1920s mansion in leafy Alamo Heights that today is filled with world-class art.

The McNay Art Museum is a special place for me. When my children were babies I would wheel them in their double stroller to visit this great Lady and attempt to indoctrinate them into the worlds of Monet, Rodin and Picasso. We'd sit by the fountain, point at the koi and admire the manicured gardens.

Like many women of a certain age, this Lady has a few lines here and there and a slightly weathered patina, although impressively well-preserved. Heck, let's be honest...like many of us, she also probably has a few bats in her belfry, too. But despite her idiosyncracies, she knows who she is. She is worldly and sophisticated, but is not about ostentation. Rather, she is all about about authentic substance on a human, approachable scale. She demands respect but rewards you by baring her soul.

The McNay is an endless source of inspiration for me and one of my favorite places to play shutterbug. I hope you'll enjoy this two-part photo tribute to my favorite Texan Grand Dame, the McNay.

























Saturday, August 4, 2007

Stopping to smell the rain...

I'm a First-Born, Type-A personality. I was an overachiever, too, until about 10 years ago....Then I had kids and gave it up. ;-)

Seriously, though...having kids has made me mellow out in many ways. Perfection just isn't attainable in a house with two active kids and a Canine Goddess. I've had to modify my definitions ever since.

For example...Pre-Kids: If we had a dinner party at our home, I would spend days planning the menu, putting together my wardrobe, polishing the silver, designing the tablescape, selecting the music playlist and cleaning the house down to the baseboards.

Now? Okay...I still spend a while on the tunes, because, well, I love setting a mood. But the rest? If it can't be put together in a day or less, ...forget it. And you know what? I have better parties now! Or at least, *I* enjoy them more!

So anyway...While I've evolved a lot, I'm still a Type A at heart who is always on a mindful course to stop and smell the roses. But since the roses in my backyard are practically fried off in the desert heat by August, this time of year, I'm now stopping to smell the rain.

The Monsoon rains.

Yep, Arizona has a Monsoon. I didn't know about it until I moved here 7 years ago, either. We're smack-dab in the middle of the Monsoon now. The humidity builds up in the desert during the day like incredibly frustrated sexual tension. Then the thunderstorms roll in, the rains come...and the sensual relief is palpable. The sheets are damp, the smell of the rains and the desert creosote fills the senses.

Damn, I need a cigarette, and I don't even smoke!

Early this morning after the sun came up, my husband woke me to ask, "Am, have you seen our sage bushes?" He pointed through the plantation shutters of our bedroom window to the most glorious burst of orchid purple flowers by our pool.

The gift of glorious life--rebirth--from the rains.

What will *you* stop and smell today?

Check out more amazing Arizona Monsoon photos by the incredibly talented Steven Noyes and marvel at the wonders of Mother Nature.

Humbling, indeed!

Friday, August 3, 2007

Blue, languorous blue



Blue--specifically a deep aqua, cyan blue--has been my favorite color ever since I can remember. But I love just about any blue.

I need at least a touch of blue in every room of my casa. A warm earth-toned space with lots of greens, golds and reds? Nice...but add a Prussian blue accent vase and now it's perfect! I think it's about yin and yang. Too much warmth, and the room feels unbalanced. Too much blue and a room sometimes feel cold.

This time of year, though, blue--interiors, exteriors, fashion, fun-- in any doseage, is the perfect antidote to the sizzle of summer days. Bring your mercury down w/ a summer blue freak!










Thursday, August 2, 2007

Blue Mango 101: Intro to Philosophy

Saffron Buddhas
by Amber
Talofofo, Guam, 2005


I'm not a Buddhist, but I play one on TV.
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Call it the Law of Attraction, the power of positive thinking or Zen mindfulness...I'm on a conscious path of discovery. Some days that results in grand spiritual enlightenment. Other days that just means discovering where the kids missplaced the telephone handset.
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It's admittedly a slow path with a lot of switchbacks. But like so many other women I meet, I find myself seeking opportunities to cultivate beauty and meaning in my daily life. Yearning for ways to channel my creative urges. To define and develop authentic individual style and expression in a world that is increasingly cookie cutter.
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As the Law of Attraction states, once you start sending out those creative and juicy vibes (or say, searching around Google) you start drawing like-minded people toward you like a magnet.
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Before you know it, you're up chatting in the middle of the night with other moms who just put their babes to bed, downloading photos for your password-encrypted style file like some kind of decorating porn addict, looking for the Elle Decor money shot.' ...Does that sound like you?
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Well, it need not be that desperate. Whether you're like my dear friend Hilary, who turned her creativity and desire to serve others into a local non-profit or my pal Lisa, whose Small Space Living philosophy proves that simple, authentic living is the new status symbol, if you're inexplicably drawn toward creative inspiration and mindful expression in your life, you're probably already living the Blue Mango philosophy.
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I hope you'll share your daily inspirations and creative expressions with me here.